I have been exercising and dieting, (way of life whatever you want to call it to make it not sound like the word diet) most of my life. I made a decision that when I reached my next decade in life that I would either put up or shut up.
I decided to do P90X this year because I knew I could handle it and it would be challenging. My body had been through so much exercise that it couldn’t sweat anymore. But doing P90X helped that I could do a great sweat. I got down to about the 2nd last week until the end and then I had to stop for personal (medical) reasons. I was so pissed off that I was almost there – almost finished after days of getting up at 5 am to do stupid downward dogs that I hated that I stopped my exercise routines completely.
Then I started hearing and seeing things in life that made me NOT want to exercise at all – well at least as intensely as I did before.
1) A friend told me that the infomercial for P90X was a little fake. They make people gain weight and then they lose it quickly. That was re-inforced again by my hubby who told me that one of the hosts from Mike and Mike show in the morning went thru the same ritual when he was asked to do Nutra System commercials.
2)It seems like A LOT of work. Weighing food, not enjoying food, exercising when you don’t want to. What type of quality of life is that?
3) I notice that a lot of people who have lost weight – celebs etc have gained it back, Joy Behar (The View), Mike from the Mike and Mike Show, Randy from American Idol, loads of people from the Biggest Loser, Oprah and my role model from Fat Ass Challenge on You Tube. And of course myself when I stopped exercising.
4) Overall, I just feel defeated. I wanted to finish my P90X goal. I’ve tried to restart it but it’s just not the same invigorated newlike feeling to it.
5) I just remember when I was going through P90X that I did feel stronger but I saw NO PHYSICAL EVIDENCE of my efforts. I look at my body and it looks as though I have NEVER exercised in my life. I work so hard consistently and when I stop it -that horrible weight just tumbles back on again.
It is just so unfair. You would think I would know my body by now and know everything that stops me from going forward. But it’s being stubborn and it feels like it is winning.
There is a small part of me that doesn’t like being defeated – actually a big part of me.
There is also a part of me that doesn’t like when I feel my clothes getting tighter.
Food/Exercise has always been such a struggle in my life and I need some type of strategy to deal with the choices of how I decide to live my life.
My body is just sooo messed up now that it has no idea what direction I am going. And the majority of this body is my brain.
